poem "dreams"

[trout]

i feel somewhat obligated to put something in here since i suggested it to nat.

critiques welcome

[natalie g]

Most of my favorite poems are more concerned with getting a thought across than having perfect rhyme and meter, and I like that this one is the same way :) I really like the message of this poem though. If I didn't know better, I would have thought you were from another part of the world in another life!

I think the thing that caught me off guard was the word "brain" in the third (and last) verse. I'm used to seeing "mind" but it rhymes with "again", so it makes sense. I don't know why it stands out to me, but it does for some reason... I guess the word "brain" just never ceases to produce a mental image of, well- a brain. I don't know if that happens to everyone or just me, but I have to consciously keep reading the poem instead of dwelling on the brain.

The last two lines are definitely my favorite of the entire poem. They are so powerful and really sum up what the entire thing is about. It's also a bit mysterious that it is your future that you see, when the rest of the poem has been about a past time. It's a nice spin.

[trout]

i'm dissappointed that "brain" distracts you that much. i'd be interested to see what others think (anybody else reading this?).

seeing the future at the end of the poem is going back to "deja vu" in line 7. "new things seem familiar" because i've seen them already in my dreams.